On the other hand, when we know and embody the truth - that each of us brings a unique piece, and all of those unique pieces make up the perfect tapestry of wholeness - then we are in coherency, and this brings the kind of ease and grace that is born out of unity.
Coherency is a state of being in which we know and feel that the embodiment of our particular essence, and the offering of our particular gift and our particular soul signature, fits perfectly into one unified, cohesive whole, and we are free to be fully what we came here to be.
When we compare ourselves to others, and start to feel not good enough in response, we are effectively saying that the unique piece we came here to bring is not enough, and therefore we hold back from offering it in its fullness, which keeps us stuck in separation, and the pain that brings.
It becomes a feedback loop in which we try and mold ourselves to fit what we think we should be, how we should act, and what the quality of our presence should look and feel like to others. As we do this, we step outside of the natural and innate coherency of wholeness, and enter into the confusion, fear and pain of separation.
In any given situation, you are bringing forward different aspects of your soul gift and your innate qualities, and the natural state is always to move towards more and more coherency. So you might find that in a certain group, the part of you that is open, vocal, and excitable is at the forefront. While another person in the same group is finding that their softer, more empathetic nature is being called to the fore. If we all accepted without judgement the truth of what we are bringing in each moment, and the truth of what another is bringing, and saw through the eyes of unity the magic of how it fits into a coherent whole, we could sit at ease with whatever it is we are embodying - effectively knowing in each and every moment that who we are and what we are bringing, even as it changes to suit various situations, is enough. Beyond enough: It is perfect.
Instead, you might find yourself thinking something along these lines (either at the time, or afterwards as you reflect on the situation) "Oh God I was so loud and out there tonight. I was probably too much for people. Sally was being so polite and soft, and I look like a big, crazy idiot in comparison. Right... from now on I am just going to sit back, smile and be soft and lovely in those situations." I know that line of thinking so well, and have done it so many times! The reality is, that was not your piece to bring in that moment. It may not ever be your piece to bring.
Then we no longer need to convince ourselves, or try to stop comparing, we just know at a deep cellular level that the reason our essence, our soul gift, our piece is so perfect, is because it fits seamlessly into one, coherent, divinely orchestrated jigsaw puzzle. We are an inseparable piece of this whole, and therefore cannot, by nature, be anything other than enough. It's coherency rather than comparison, and it makes so much sense!
If you want to explore this unified relatedness with others, check out the new online course I am offering, beginning on August 1st, 2018 - Rising to the Evolutionary Invitation: A Call to the Connectors. I would love to meet you on this path!