I wonder how many hours, days, weeks, and years of our lives we spend trying to figure out all the answers? It is so easy to be preoccupied with figuring out how we can live a life of balance, how we can make sense of things, how we can get ahead in life, how we can heal. And not just as individuals - part of the broader cultural context we live in is all about trying to find the answers, to seal things neatly into boxes, to label and quantify. There is nothing inherently wrong with this - it seems to me like an essential part of being human. We seek to know, to understand.
But are we cultivating together the skill of not knowing, of surrendering to something that is quietly emerging, of dwelling in the mystery?
You know that feeling when you're reading a book and a particular passage just jumps off the page? I was reading the novel Sycamore recently and had this experience. In the passage, a high school Humanities teacher is enlightening her students about one of the great questions in literature; how we as humans really know one another. She exclaims:
“Do we really know anyone? How? You can’t see my thoughts. You can’t see my heart. My heart is an inferno, but how would you know?” *
How do we trulyknowone another? How do we feel seen and heard and understood in who we are? Why do so many people feel so alone?
Have you ever sat in a room full of people, and started to go into a story about how you are not creative like this person, or talented like that person, or kind and polite like another person, or beautiful and outgoing like yet another person?
I know I have, and I'm pretty sure almost everyone has. In these moments, we are in the grip of comparison and the STORY of "not enough".
And we know its hallmarks so well, because we very quickly become deflated and defeated when we're in it. This kind of pain, this kind of contraction and deflation is born out of separation, and the conditioned thinking of "us and them" that goes with it.
What are the implications of this beautiful quote by Rumi?
What you are yearning for, what you desperately want in your life is, on the other side of the equation, also desperately yearning for YOU.
This means that your yearning is really a communication with that which you seek. There is a fundamental synergy at the heart of all things, and yearning and longing is actually a key and crucial part of allowing the match to happen.
So, it follows then that it is important to pay close attention to, and to fully allow those feelings of longing to be felt.
Frustration and stress can be really hard on the body. It can feel like it's building up inside you to an almost unbearable level, until you feel you might scream, or explode.
There is a key moment when we are feeling like this, when the best thing to do would be to stop and listen, really listen, without judgment, to what is trying to make itself known via the pain or locked down feeling in the body.
Instead, we often take the feeling out on something or somebody - whether it's the car door, our loved ones, or ourselves.
In an embodiment coaching session the key focus is listening. Listening to the body, mind, soul and energetic field as one whole system, and acknowledging that everything that is showing up is valid, and part of a bigger story.
When the need to be perfect, and to get things "right" has woven out of our systems, taking with it the self doubt, self sabotage and apathy that were its companions, we are free to do and be all we came here to be.
As we embody more and more of our fullness, the need for perfection is replaced by openness, curiosity and the desire to expand and learn.
In this, we really can do anything. Perhaps not perfectly, perhaps not even well, but the curiosity and joy in the exploration is what drives us, NOT the need for perfection.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and express our authentic truth are surefire ways to improve our connection to self and others.
However, the other side of being vulnerable, is being listened to in our vulnerability. How many times have you tried to open up and be vulnerable, only to find that you actually felt worse because of the way you were received?
There is no doubt that there is immense power in allowing ourselves to be truly seen. I believe it is a crucial part of humanity's constant evolution towards true unity. But we still haven't quite got this thing quite right....